Based on Addiction and Alcoholism Recovery Skills for Women by Kate Lewis
Welcome. Let us make this personal to you.
This tool works through 10 short sections β each one builds on the last to create something genuinely personal to you. There are no wrong answers. Just write what comes naturally and the tool will do the rest.
What feels hardest right now?
What feels hardest about not drinking right now? Say as much or as little as you want. There are no wrong answers here.
Help me through this moment
What do you struggle with most?
Check all that apply.
What do you love or wish you had more time for?
Select all that apply. These personalize your schedule and habit suggestions.
Peer support is one of the most powerful tools in recovery. Find a meeting near you:
Discover Your Pattern
Understanding your pattern is the first step to working with it
The Pattern Quiz
Answer honestly.
1. When someone is upset with me, my first instinct is to:
2. When I feel overwhelmed, I usually:
3. The thought that most often leads me toward wanting a drink is:
4. My relationship with self-care is usually:
5. When something goes wrong in my recovery, I tend to:
The Fixed Mindset Quiz from Kate's Growth Mindset Exercise worksheet
A or B = 1 point. C or D = 0 points.
1. "If I slip up and drink or use again, it means I have failed, and I will never really get this."
2. "Some people are just naturally stronger than I am when it comes to addiction."
3. "I have experienced too much trauma to be able to stay sober and handle the pain of it all."
4. "If I feel fine, I do not need to go to meetings or work on my recovery."
5. "People do not change."
Reframe a Fixed Thought
Just write what comes up. The tool will help you reframe it.
Brain Chemistry 101
Why cravings happen, and why they pass
Why Your Brain Got Hooked
Here is what actually happened: when you used drugs or alcohol regularly, your brain got flooded with dopamine. That felt good. Over time, your brain responded by reducing the number of dopamine receptors, essentially turning down its own sensitivity to pleasure because it was getting so much stimulation from the substance. So now, without the substance, things that used to feel good feel flat, gray, and joyless. So if you are feeling this way, it is very common, very normal, and very temporary.
Three parts of your brain took the biggest hit:
- The reward center learned to expect the substance. When it does not get it, it sends urgent craving signals.
- The stress center gets dysregulated, which is why anxiety, irritability, and dread spike in early recovery.
- The decision-making center gets overridden by the other two. This is why "just deciding to stop" is not enough on its own.
Why Cravings Pass
Here is the part that actually helps: cravings are not permanent. They rise, peak, and fall. Research shows that most cravings peak within 15 to 30 minutes if you do not act on them. Your brain is healing. And the good news, backed by research Kate Lewis cites in the book: after about four weeks of abstinence, dopamine levels start returning to baseline. The flatness you feel right now is temporary.
You Were Sick, Not Weak
The things you did when you were drinking or using, the decisions you regret, the relationships you strained: those happened when your brain chemistry was completely out of whack. That is not an excuse. But it is true. And knowing it means you can start having compassion for yourself the same way you would for someone with any other illness.
The Positive Feedback Loop
Gratitude practice, the Done List, small wins: these are not just feel-good exercises. They are how you rebuild your brain's natural reward system. Every time you notice something good, write something down, celebrate a small win, you are giving your dopamine system a genuine hit. Kate describes literally feeling her brain shift from negative to positive thinking after months of daily practice. That shift is available to you too.
My Brain Chemistry Insight
Write what you now understand about your brain chemistry. Then turn it into a personal EFT affirmation.
If you have already filled this in, your previous answer is fine. You can leave it, add to it, or change it β whatever feels right today.
The Four Happy Hormones
How to flood your brain with NATURAL happy chemicals
These are your brain's own happiness chemicals. You can activate every one of them today, naturally. Use this as your cheat sheet whenever you feel squirrelly, low, or tempted.
Reward and Motivation
The "get it done" chemical
- Completing any task, even small ones
- Self-care activities
- Eating a real meal
- Celebrating little wins
Mood and Wellbeing
The "feel steady" chemical
- Sunlight (even 5 minutes)
- Meditation or stillness
- Exercise or movement
- Being in nature
Connection and Love
The "you are not alone" chemical
- Playing with a pet
- Hugging someone
- Calling a friend
- A genuine compliment
Pain Relief and Euphoria
The "natural high" chemical
- Laughing out loud
- Exercise or dancing
- Dark chocolate
- Essential oils
My Personal Hormone Plan
Fill this in once and come back to update it as you discover what works. No need to rewrite it every visit.
Fixed vs. Growth Mindset
Shifting your inner dialogue to support lifelong recovery
What is the Difference?
A fixed mindset keeps you trapped. It says "I cannot" and "I never will." A growth mindset believes in your ability to change, learn, and heal. Kate writes: instead of "I will never be able to stay sober," shift to: "I am learning the tools I need to be able to stay sober. It is not easy, and like learning any new skill, it will take practice. The more I practice, the more likely I am to be successful. I know I can do this because I have seen others do it."
My Growth Mindset Statement
Research shows that the story you tell yourself about your ability to change is one of the most powerful predictors of whether you will. This is not positive thinking. It is how your brain works.
When you write and say your growth mindset statement daily, you are literally building new neural pathways. Over time, the brain starts to default to the growth version instead of the fixed one. Kate calls this your north star β it is what you come back to when the fixed thoughts get loud.
Your statement will carry through into your Daily Companion and your Blueprint. The more specific it is to you, the more powerful it becomes. If you already have one saved below, you do not need to rewrite it β just read it and let it land.
Daily Habits for Sober Living
Highlighted habits are especially relevant to your struggles
Today's Habit Checklist
Try to check off at least 5 today.
The Done List
Write down everything you accomplish, no matter how small. Kate wrote things like waking up, taking a shower, combing her hair. Each acknowledgment is a genuine dopamine signal that builds the positive feedback loop.
Daily Sober Day Companion
Check in and get a plan tailored to exactly how you are feeling right now
Today's Check-In
Answer a few quick questions and we will build your plan around where you are today.
Even one word is enough. Or leave it blank if nothing specific comes to mind.
Guided EFT Tapping Session
A step-by-step session using your own words
Why EFT Works
EFT physically taps specific meridian points on your body while you focus on a feeling or statement. Research shows EFT measurably reduces cortisol and supports healing from anxiety, depression, and addiction. Kate uses it in her own recovery practice and teaches it throughout her books.
How to tap: Use your index and middle fingers. Tap each point 5 to 7 times at an even, rhythmic pace. Breathe normally.
You can use EFT for:
- Affirmations β tap while repeating a positive belief you want to build
- Cravings β tap while saying "Even though I have this craving right now, I accept where I am"
- Self-forgiveness β tap while saying "Even though I slipped up, I am still worthy of recovery"
- Stress and overwhelm β tap while naming what you are feeling, without trying to fix it
- Anger β tap while acknowledging the feeling: "I am feeling angry and that is okay"
Choose Your EFT Phrase
From Kate's recovery phrases in Book 2, Chapter 10. Use the same one daily for 1 to 2 weeks to build the neural pathway. You can also use a phrase focused on a craving, a feeling, or self-forgiveness.
My Transformation Blueprint
A personalized coaching report built from everything you have shared
Where I Am Now
My Happy Hormone Strategy
My Daily Non-Negotiables
My Permission Slip
Your Personalized Sobriety Blueprint
Talk It Through
Say what is on your mind. No filter required.
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